


Annoyed

by ritalara



Series: Why Not Me [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Sci-Ops Era (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 17:23:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14919668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritalara/pseuds/ritalara
Summary: Jemma Simmons is annoyed by her roommate's date. Why is she so bothered by the girl that Fitz has over...and what is she going to do about it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma is annoyed by her roomate's date. Why does the girl Fitz has over bother her so much...and what is she gonna do it about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild Angst

Jemma Simmons was annoyed

Not mildly annoyed like when a movie or television show got a simple scientific fact wrong (because really they had researchers that could confirm those things...)

Not exasperated like when when one of her Sci-Ops coworkers put something back in the wrong place in the storage cupboards in the lab (was it that they couldn’t read labels or that they just didn’t care?)

But really really distractingly irritated.

She huffed as she rearranged herself in her bed, pillows propped behind her with an episode of Planet Earth playing on her laptop while she thumbed through some recent chemical kinetics research that one of her colleagues had shared. She attempted to turn up the volume on her laptop but knew it was futile - she had already frustratingly pounded at the button in an effort to drown out the thing that was annoying her - to no avail.

Because the thing that was annoying her was her roommate.

More specifically her roommate's date.

Jemma sighed as another giggle drifted through her door from the main room of her apartment and her jaw clenched.

It was the inconsistency of the noise that bothered her the most. It kept bursting through erratically and Jemma couldn't hear much of anything else so it left her to wonder what was going on out there. Well, not wonder, so much as stew. She was annoyed at the noises, annoyed that it was late, and, mostly, annoyed that she didn’t know when it would stop.

What were they doing out there? Watching a movie? Where they going to end the evening soon...was the girl going to stay over? Jemma's stomach clenched at the thought.

She and Fitz had been roommates for almost two years after leaving the academy and it was only recently that dates had become a regular thing for him.

He hadn't dated much while at school - neither of them had. Although Jemma had had a few more romantic encounters than Fitz it just hadn't been much of a priority for either of them. For Jemma at least, beyond the occasional healthy sexual encounter, there was no one that really drew her interest - besides Fitz.

Not that Fitz had ever drawn her interest that way. Sure he was smart and handsome, if not a little pasty - and no one made her laugh like he did - and of course she noticed how blue his eyes were, but...

Her thoughts were interrupted by a louder laugh from Fitz’s date in the living room and she flipped the covers off herself, standing up in a fit and reaching for the door knob.

She didn’t even know what she was planning to do.

Go out there? Ask them to quiet down? Tell the girl to leave?

A small part of her quite liked that idea. Maybe Fitz was showing her some funny YouTube video and they'd call it a night soon and really it wasn't that late so perhaps she'd ask them if they could wrap it up and then after she & Fitz could make tea and watch the rest of Planet Earth and - what was she thinking?

He was most certainly NOT showing her a YouTube video - and Jemma really had no right to be so irritated at the young woman. Jemma had no doubt she was a perfectly lovely person. She didn’t know her well - neither did Fitz. In fact Fitz didn’t know many of the women he’d been taking out very well, which seemed, unlike him. 

Or at least it seemed like it would be unlike him if Jemma knew much about his dating habits which she really didn’t. They had both turned 21 recently and Jemma thought perhaps it was Fitz’s new ability to be able to go out to real bars and pubs that struck up his seemingly new interest in dating.

It hadn’t affected her much to be technically of age in the US - it was nice to be able to buy wine and such at the store for the Sunday dinners she and Fitz liked to have most weeks. Often they’d invite over some of their coworkers and occasionally her mind would wander thinking far off thoughts about how much it felt like they were a married couple hosting dinner parties.

Once, after a few glasses of wine, as the night had wound down and she and Fitz were standing in companionable silence doing the dishes together, she had thought to herself randomly about a cottage in Perthshire she had seen once on holiday with her family. She had thought fleetingly of the two of them standing at a large farm sink doing their dishes while a couple small children played out in the garden as they watched from the large bay window in the kitchen.

Jemma’s stomach dropped again. Still standing at her door, she took a couple steps back.

She had no right to be thinking about something like that. No right to be agitated by Fitz having a date in their apartment. No right to be curious about the other women he’d been out with.

He was her best friend and she assumed some jealousy was normal in that he was the person she spent all her time with. She understood some natural jealousy that he was with other...people. In fact she had seen the same from him. Any time Jemma struck up a particular affinity for a new classmate or new addition to their research team in the Sci Ops lab. They’d worked side by side for years and had become completely inseparable. Of course they were bound to get earnestly territorial over each other.

A part of her knew their relationship was overly codependent - but a bigger part of her didn’t mind. They were twice as smart together - twice as good at their jobs. They complimented each other. Jemma did most of the cooking, Fitz did most of the cleaning. He fixed things when they broke, she took care of bugs when they got in the house. They taught each other about their skills and specialties. They built and invented and dreamt up BioTech that would change the world. They shared a book collection and a dvd collection and a spice cupboard...and they shared fears, and doubts, and neuroses, and a history. They shared a history that no one could ever come between.  
Except someone was bound to. A man or a woman that one of them might really fall for. Jemma had had one longer-term boyfriend - Milton - that she had known Fitz disliked, and who, ultimately, she became annoyed by and parted with. But now Fitz was on the market. Of course he would find someone.

Someone smart and funny and cute and lovely. Someone he was attracted to. Someone who he made giggle on the couch. Someone who would see him for all his wonderful traits, someone who would indulge his tendencies, and appreciate his idiosyncrasies and love his mind and his heart.

Her chest was heavy as she stumbled back on to her bed. She thought of the young woman out on the couch with Fitz and pictured her at a farm style sink with him, washing dishes, and watching their children play and Jemma was short of breath.

She gasped for air as her throat tightened and her stomach lurched. Her eyes widened as she fought back tears and she slumped forward as her face fell - trying to catch her breath.

She was jealous. 

So jealous. 

Heart-stopping, fists-clenched, knees-weak jealous. 

Of this girl. Of all the girls. The women, she reminded herself. Young women, not unlike her...very much like her really... all in their early to mid twenties, all brunette, all fair skinned...

Really, she thought, almost, laughing to herself, she’d have a hard time picking herself out of a lineup with all of them.

So then why wasn’t it her? Why wasn’t she the one with him. With him in every way that a date would be. With him out on the couch with his hands on her waist, giggling as he kissed her neck, and...

...and there it was

She wanted it to be her.

She wanted to laugh on the couch with him like they had a hundred times. Watching a scientifically inaccurate show or chuckling nervously after an unexpected love scene in a movie. 

She wanted to hold his hand and put her head on his shoulder and kiss his cheek and then his mouth and his temple and lean in to him while he held her and kissed her.

She wanted him in her bed, next to her, on top of her, underneath her, with her.

She wanted him with her always. Everywhere. In every way. For the rest of their lives.

Her hand flew to her mouth as she choked out a sob.

What had come over her? How could she even think such a thing? Where was this coming from. Her mouth moved to her forehead. She was warm. Was she feverish? Had she come over ill? Had she eaten something that was making her sick? 

She catalogued her last two days in the lab - was there something she had touched or inhaled, something she had come in contact with that was making her...

She brought herself back to reality.

This wasn't a hallucination. This wasn't a fleeting thought.

This wasn't new.

If she was really honest with herself, these feelings weren't new. 

They hadn’t come out of nowhere.

She had always wanted Fitz by her side. She had always found him attractive. She had always seen him as smart and handsome. She had know since they day they were partnered up in chem lab that he was something special. She had known since their first conversation about dielectric polarization that he would be in her life for a long time.

She remembered the tiny twinge of jealousy when she found out he’d slept with Sally Webber at the Academy. She remembered prying him for information under the guise of friendly curiousity. She remembered each night over the past few months that she had tossed and turned in her bed wondering where he was and who he was with and if he planned to bring them home. 

She remembered her relief each time he brought a girl back to the apartment and she didn't stay over. She remembered her anguish each time she got a text that he wouldn't be home for the evening. She acknowledged how kurt she had been with him when he returned the next morning.

She mourned her obliviousness momentarily. She grieved for ability to push this feeling away because it was here now, opened in her heart and there was no putting it back.

She wanted to throw open the door and spill her feelings on to the living room floor. She wanted to stomp down the hall and take his face in her hands and beg him to love her back with her lips.

Love her back.

As the picture swept through her mind her tear ducts burned.

She loved him.

Of course she loved him.

She loved every ounce of him. Every gesture, every smirk, every plaid shirt. 

She ached with love for him. She was consumed by it. 

How could she have ignored it for so long?

She had known how deeply she cared for him. How deeply they cared for each other. 

She had known for years he was someone she would grow old with. They joked often about having adjoining rooms one day in a SHIELD retirement home. They talked often about holidays by the sea when they retired. They daydreamed about trips and made lists of the things they’d do and see together. 

Somehow, without noticing it, they’d planned a life together.

Was this all inevitable then? Had every step been leading them down this path?

Did Fitz feel the same way?

She stilled again - her stomach threatening it's way up her throat.

Fitz.

In an instant...or, maybe, over a million moments...across several years...she had fallen in love with him.

But did he...could he...feel the same?

She thought back to their first month at the academy together. She had been so excited to meet him. The only person at the academy as young as her - and a fellow countrymen at that. Their first exchange had been short. Fitz barely looking up at her - but it hadn’t dissuaded her from trying to befriend him. She had damn near annoyed him blatantly following him around, sitting by him in every class they shared, finding her way into the same study groups as him. She had known, even then, even from a brief encounter, that they were meant to be in each other’s lives.

She didn’t believe in destiny of course...not really, not in the way it was written about it novels. But, she believed in Fitz.

Fitz did believe in fate. Sort of. He subscribed heartily to Minkowski’s space-time theory that events were fixed. That life as they would experience it was already laid out for them, they just went through fixed events in a linear fashion.

So what did he think about their relationship then, she wondered. Were they fixed in his mind? Were they meant to be friends, always, never deviating from that path?

She sighed.

How could she ever find out. When could she ask him about such a thing? How would she broach a subject like this. Especially with his bloody date in the other room.

Suddenly Jemma was angry again. Blood burned hot in her legs and her body threatened to move on it's own accord yet again. She was going to do it. She was going to stomp out of the room, tell that woman courteously but firmly to leave, and she was going to demand an answer. 

She couldn’t bear these feelings alone. She couldn't sit there in silence in her room sinking under the weight of these emotions. She couldn't hide this from him. 

She couldn't, she wouldn’t lie to him about this.

Not something this...monumentous.

But she stalled again.

This wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair to spring this on him. It certainly wasn't fair to kick his date out of their apartment. 

She thought for a moment about putting in earplugs, taking a sleeping pill, and burying herself under her covers.

But then she realized how quiet it had gotten - she glanced at her clock - 10:30 pm.

It had been roughly 9:45 when Fitz had come in with his date - Karen, Jemma reminded herself.

Despite her overwhelming frustration, it was unkind of her to consider her as a nameless faceless enemy and Jemma Simmons was better than to reduce a fellow woman to a bitter romantic rival.

Karen - was Karen still there? 

This time Jemma did get up, pressing her ear to the door. She heard nothing...maybe the tv...?

She hovered over the door knob again - her muscles tensed. She could go out and pretend she was getting water if she needed to.

But what if they were in Fitz’s room... or worse, silent on the couch due to their mouths being otherwise occupied.

She rolled her eyes at herself internally. 

This was ridiculous. 

So what if he was making out with Karen on the couch?

So what if they were in his room having sex?

Fitz had had sex with other people and so had she...

It didn't change how she felt about him.

It didn't change that she was slowly realizing how much she wanted to tell him.

So she would go out, she would get a glass of water.

If things had progressed she would go back to her room and write down what she wanted to say and she would wait.

She would wait for Karen to leave. She would wait until they’d had breakfast in the morning, and, after a strong cup of tea, she would recite her prepared speech.

That sounded good. Preparation would help. She would write it all down. Organize her thoughts and her words. She would write him a pros and cons list - a proposal of sorts. Not that kind of proposal, but, a hypothesis really. She would prepare him a report for his consideration.

The idea of building a case around her feelings for him calmed her. She considered staying in her room to begin the work but her curiosity won out. 

She smoothed her hair and squared her shoulders and took a breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma decides to do something about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly Fluff

She moved quietly but for the creaking of her bedroom door and immediately she heard Fitz’s voice - seemingly from the kitchen.

“Simmons?”

“Yeah - I’m up, are you...” she didn't know exactly what she wanted to ask.

“Hey” he answered, popping his head around the corner, speaking to her down the hall

“...I’m just makin a cuppa - do you want some chamomile - or peppermint?”

Her shoulders relaxed and she smiled, nodding.

Fitz was taken aback, it wasn't that he never saw Jemma smile like that but rarely was it over a nighttime cup of tea.

He grinned back at her and nodded back to the kitchen.

She followed behind, seemingly looking around and Fitz clocked her suspicious gait as he poured boiling water into their mugs - his black, hers white.

“Karen went home” he answered - no particular tone in his voice.

“Oh?” Jemma responded, gulping down her nerves, wondering if her own attempt at a temperate tone of voice was successful.

“Yeah - we went to this cool penny arcade and then came back and she was showing me YouTube videos of this guy who voices over video game playthroughs.”

He walked past her in to the living room, setting down their tea - the tv was on, the volume lowered in the background - Planet Earth, Jemma recognized.

Her heart swelled and she smiled again - following behind him absentmindedly.

He sat down and continued,

“I thought it was kind of funny but she really got into it,” he chuckled, sitting back, putting his feet up on the table.

“Oh?” Jemma asked again, taking a spot next to him gingerly.

“‘Oh?’ - Is that all you have to say?” Fitz raised an eyebrow.

Jemma preoccupied herself with her tea and replied slowly,

“What else would I say?”

“Well usually you ask how the date went”

“How did the date go?”

She held her breath in preparation of his response.

“Fine,” he shrugged, “we had fun at the arcade, but I think we both felt like it's not going to go past being friends - no goodnight kiss or anything like that.”

“How often does it go past being friends?” Jemma asked

Fitz moved his head back in surprise and then tipped it in question

“...I just mean, well, you’ve been going out a lot of dates recently. Not that there’s anything wrong with that...and it doesn’t seem like you’ve seen anyone more than once, and, really, I don’t think I’ve ever known of you having someone stay over here...”

“Well I didn't want that to be uncomfortable for you”

“For me?”

She froze again.

“...I mean having me, here, and a...you know, I didn’t want to - well I mean I certainly don't fancy listening to you and some bloke go at it, so...”

Jemma did a quick tally in her mind. She had never had a guy stay over since she and Fitz had lived together. She honestly wasn't even one to typically stay over at a person’s house after they’d slept together. She much preferred coming home to sleep in her own bed.

“Oh” was all she could respond again.

Fitz furrowed his brow in inquisition again and they both sipped their tea.

He made himself more comfortable, toeing off his shoes, and she looked over as he began to loosen his tie. It was the same shirt, tie, and pants he’d worn to work that day but something about him undoing his top button and pulling down the knot made her breath hitch.

She watched him closely, her lips pursing, her hands tightening around her mug, and as he went to pull it up over his head, it stuck partially on his button, catching on his nose.

“Oof, Simmons, help me out here”

She laughed, taken out of her own head for a moment, and put her tea down quickly, moving up on to her knees and reaching around the back of his neck, pulling the circumference of his tie up and back towards her.

He chuckled as well and she stilled again, her hands moving slowly as she placed the cravat on the back of the couch.

His eyes glistened with mirth and a swell of emotion came over her. She had to say something. Had to tell him how beautiful he was, how his smile lit her up. She looked at him with an ardour that was nearly unmistakeable and Fitz’s expression became more serious.

“Simmons are you okay?”

She was looking at him like he was a new dawn and Fitz was vexed. He had never seen this look in her eyes. Well, maybe he had. But he had told himself his mind was playing tricks on him. He had long since taught himself not to look at her too hard. Not to think about her smile and her mouth and her lips and her eyes for too long. Not to think about the way she looked at him when it had been a while since they’d seen each other and he walked into a room. Not to look at her the way he wanted to when it had been awhile since they’d seen each other and she walked into a room.

“Fitz” she said breathlessly - not moving her gaze from his.

Her hands fell slowly to his chest and his heart jumped.

She was looking him like...like he had always wanted her to look at him. Like she was a ship and he was the harbor. Or maybe he was the ship and she was his harbor... A look he had daydreamed about. A look he had no right to wish for. A look that he must be mistaken about.

He wanted to ask again if she was okay but he couldn't get the words out. He couldn't interrupt this moment. Not when it was just shy of everything he’d ever wanted.

They both sat there, staring, almost frozen, and Jemma knew she couldn't hold back anymore. Something about the way he looked back at her told her it was okay. Whatever she said, it would be okay. They would be okay.

“Fitz, I...I need to say something...about...us - I need to tell you that I...”

But she hadn’t prepared. The words weren't right. She didn't know what she was supposed to say. How could a sentence encompass everything that she had only minutes ago realized was living inside of her?

His hands moved over top of hers and his breathing was labored as he said,

“Jemma, you can tell me anything. Anything.”

She smiled again - a brilliant, stunning, heart-ending smile and he returned one just as dazzling

Her hands moved from under his to cup his face and she realized, as her face tipped towards his, there were no words to tell him, so this would have to do.

They both breathed in desperately through their noses as their mouths connected. Fitz’s hands moved her to her arms, steadying them both as she pressed her lips in to his. Her hands moved down to his neck, under his chin and her mouth parted slightly as she continued the kiss. His hands moved too, around and up her back, pulling her in to him. She leaned forward, her chest pressed against his, a slight ache beginning in her legs, and as he opened his mouth further, she jumped back.

“Oh, ow!”

Her thigh had cramped and she fell to her side over his lap, her leg flailing as she reached to dig the heel of her palm in to it.

Fitz blanched, his hands scrambling for purpose, and he settled with them hovering over her leg.

“Are you okay, is there anything I can - “

“No. No it's fine. I mean it's not, it hurts like the blazes, but, just...here-”

She grabbed his right hand and placed it on her thigh in a half moon, putting pressure on his thumb where the cramp was and he took the direction. His other hand fell to her hip to give himself leverage and he worked at the muscle firmly but gently for a few moments as Jemma flexed and massaged at her own calf, working the spasm down and out of her leg.

She leaned back as the ache waned, her upper back across Fitz’s thighs, and closed her eyes as the pain subsided. When she opened them she was looking up at him, his hands resting loosely on her bare thigh, she realized as she acknowledged that she was wearing (reasonably modest) pajama shorts.

His look of concern faded slightly as a blush warmed her cheeks and they both smiled again.

“Are you okay?” he asked with less angst this time

She nodded

“Yes, that was, not a great...er, position - for our first kiss.”

Fitz’s stomach knotted. Their first kiss. He and Jemma had just had their first kiss.

He opened his mouth to say something and she continued,

“In fact, this isn’t really...here - ”

She grabbed his hand and sat up. Without warning, she scooted herself back, taking care to keep her bum closer to Fitz’s knees than anything else, and brought her back flush with the arm of the couch, her legs now flung across his, with herself placed firmly but comfortably in his lap.

He looked at her and smiled yet again - this time in a daze.

Jemma Simmons was sitting in his lap, in her pajama shorts and a t-shirt, having just kissed him, and his hands were laying on her legs. He was sure to wake up any moment.

“This is much better I'd say, how about you?” she asked.

She had no idea where this confidence had come from. Perhaps most of it was a front - a way to avoid finding the nearly impossible words that swam through her.

His smile turned to a smirk.

“Whatever you say - I’m with you.”

Her heart soared. She wanted to kiss him again. She was pretty sure he wanted that too.

She leaned forward, her hands resting on his shoulders this time, and gave him a sturdier buss.

Her forehead fell against his as she pecked him again and his left hand smoothed around to the small of her back as he pushed his mouth forward a bit more confidently this time.

They did not go in for more yet but rather rested in the moment. His forehead went down to her shoulder, his mouth pressing against her neck haphazardly and she breathed in sharply.

She felt him smile against the same spot and she giggled.

She giggled.

Actual tingles travelled through her at the realization and she pulled away, lifting Fitz’s head gently so that she could see him.

“Fitz, I want to be with you.”

The words came so easy it was like breathing. Her doubts were gone, left back in her bedroom or trailing through the hallway. She knew exactly what she wanted and it was him.

He was dumbfounded - in the happiest way. His smile grew as she looked at him and all he could say was,

“Yes.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma & Fitz figure out where they go from here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots O Fluff

Their smiling mouths fell back to each other and her hands moved back to his neck as his circled around her back. Their kisses were joyful and their mouths pressed and parted several times before it deepened. They slowed, pulling each other in tighter, their bodies still as they opened up to each other.

He tasted amazing, Jemma thought to herself. Herbal and slightly metallic. She could taste the tea he’d just been drinking and the beer he’d had earlier that evening and the tang of his saliva. This was the closest she’d ever been to him and he enveloped her senses in ways she hadn’t quite imagined. She could smell his skin and feel it on her fingers. The soft skin of his neck and the firm bones of his jaw. She wanted him and only him, every bit of him.

As much as she wanted to nearly devour him, it was all becoming a bit too much and she needed air. She pulled back gently, mouthing at his lips and parting gently - moving her face to the side of his for a moment.

He panted himself, resting easily in the crook of her neck and Fitz had lost all sense of where she ended and he began. She was in his veins. She had been since they day they met and he had spent year after painstaking year avoiding it, denying it, tamping it down.

But now, she wanted him. Almost as much as he wanted her if he let himself believe it.

“Jemma I want this too. I want you, I want all of you...I want - I want everything with you.”

The endorphins crashing through his brain made him brave. The oxygen seeping back into his lungs powered his words. The girl in his arms made anything possible.

She leaned to his neck and kissed it over and over, moving to his jaw, running her thumbs across his skin. She was heady with desire. With lust and love and affection for him. But she needed to regain her wits. She needed to tell him more - tell him how much she wanted all the pieces of every moment with him.

She pulled up his head again, smiling at the pattern that was emerging and looked at him earnestly.

“I want everything with you too. This. All of this. Us. With you. You and me. In every way. I want to be your best friend and your partner and your lover and your... I understand if this is a lot to hear right now but I know you know me and you know that I am a planner and Fitz I want a life with you. I want to hold your hand on the beach and play chess on the porch and travel the world and solve big problems and create amazing things and...and, maybe it's crazy but I don't think it's crazy because I’ve known since the moment we met that we were meant for something extraordinary together and - “

“I love you,” he interrupted

She gasped, her hands falling to their sides and his eyes widened, loosening his grip.

He hadn’t planned on saying that. He had only wanted to listen. Listen to her say aloud all the things he had dreamed of doing with her. But it had built up in him for too long. He couldn't live in that silence for a moment longer. Not when she was laying their future at his feet.

“...I’m sorry that's...I’m sorry if that's too much - I didn’t mean to -”

“You love me,” she cut him off.

“I do.”

The gears turned in Jemma’s head as she put the pieces together. 

He loved her. He loved her in all the ways the she loved him...or so she was pretty sure.

“You’re IN love with me...the way that...you want me and you love me?”

“Jemma...”

He pulled her hands in to his in between them and stated softly, with measure

“I’ve wanted you since the day I met you and I think I fell in love with you sometime between the first and second semester at the academy.”

She looked down at their hands together and closed her eyes, soaking in his words, taking laps in the feeling of her hands in his. 

“Leo Fitz I love you more than I could I ever put into words,” she told him, bringing her eyes back up to meet his.

Tears bristled in his gaze and she moved one of her hands to put it on his heart.

“I don't know when I fell in love with you but I know I’ve wanted to be with you since I met you,” she continued,

“ - and I can’t believe it took this long to figure it out but I can’t be sad about that right now because this is perfect - you’re perfect.”

He moved her hand still in between his next to the one that was placed on his chest and sighed, releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding in.

“Perfect is about the best word I could come up with to describe this Jemma. You’re everything to me and... this feels so ...right, right?” he shrugged.

“Right” she nodded with a smile.

Jemma went kiss him again and this time they didn’t stop. His hands moved to her back again, pulling her into him hungrily as their motions heated up and she sunk into him. There was something about kissing Fitz that quieted her mind in a way she had never felt before. 

For Fitz kissing Jemma was like being ignited. He was stunned and on fire. They dove into each other greedily and he could feel her smile against his mouth as they took small pauses for air.

Fitz smiled back as his hands moved again, up and around her neck, toward the back of her head in to her hair. His mouth lunged back at her again and she moaned, catalyzing him somehow in to an even deeper kiss. 

She had barely had a moment to sincerely ponder what kissing Fitz would truly be like, and even when she had considered it in passing moments over their years together, her imagination had not even come close. As his tongue sparked against hers she was overcome by her own visions of where else she would like his tongue and her mouth curled up again.

This time Fitz started to chuckle and he pulled away just barely, his palms cradling the sides of her neck

“Anything in particular you’re smiling about there?”

“Your mouth” she answered with a cheek she barely knew she had in her.

He grinned from ear to ear and shook his head lightly.

“Are you for real right now? I have to be honest Jemma I feel like I'm gonna wake up from a dream here soon”

“I am and so do I...Fitz I can’t explain this, I just...god I don't know why we haven't been doing this for years...something just...tonight, something came over me and I just...” she shifted back as she decided she needed to talk to him some more.

“I came out here to spy on you and Karen. I had some sort of half cocked idea that I was going to kick her out and demand that you tell me why you were out here with her instead of me”

His eyes widened with a mixture of delight & surprise.

She shook her head at herself too and they maintained eye contact. He wasn't sure if she planned to continue and she worked through her next statement.

“Fitz why didn’t...why...if you felt this way too, how come you didn’t - why not me?”

His shoulders dropped as her tone shifted and he took a deep breath.

“I guess I...well for a long time it didn't, it didn't occur to me - to either of us, right? We’ve had years together Jemma and I just...it didn't happen all at once for me. I didn't wake up one morning and realize - it was...I don’t know if I can explain it but, I only realized once I...once I realized, and then, there was no going back I guess. But I didn’t know how to tell you Jemma. I didn’t know what to say or how to...ask...I guess it just felt like a boundary we couldn’t cross.”

“But how long Fitz? How long have you been...thinking about us this way? How long have you been holding this in?”

Her demeanor had shifted again and Fitz recognized this Jemma a little bit better - this was the Simmons he knew well, his best friend and partner who demanded answers.

“I don’t kn-I, well...if I tell you can we go back to snogging?”

She laughed heartily but didn’t let up.

“Fitz...”

“Since we moved in together”

“FITZ”

“I didn’t mean to! I just, I mean, I guess I realized that it was more than best friends for me when we - we’ve spent all our time together for years and look at you Jemma, what man wouldn't fall in love with you! I’m only human really, I think we should take in to consideration that this was probably bound to -”

She cut him off with a playful thump on his chest and said indignantly but lovingly

“I can’t believe you didn't SAY anything. Did it never occur to you I might feel the same way?”

He shrugged,

“I dunno - it took me long enough to come to terms with it and you were with Milton for a while and then I figured I should try and date other people and see where that went and, I don’t know,” he sighed, “I guess I was afraid.”

She gave him a slightly sad but mostly hopeful smile and kissed him adoringly.

“I’m sorry you didn’t know I felt the same way - I’m sorry I didn’t know. I’m sorry I couldn’t-”

“No,” he shook his head in interruption,“none of that. There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’ll talk with you about all of this as much as you want but I won’t be sorry for our friendship Jemma. Look at us. Look at this. Look how lucky we are, right?”

She began to tear up and he pulled her in for a hug.

“As far as I’m concerned I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

She chuckled through tearful breaths and pulled back, slowly realizing her position on Fitz’s knees was starting to become uncomfortable.

Before she could stop herself, her grin turned extremely mischievous as she said,

“What do you think about getting even luckier?”

His mouth fell slightly agape as she held his gaze and his throat was dry as he responded.

“Jemma, are you... do you - you want to...?”

“Have sex Fitz, yes, yes I do - very much...do you want to?”

“Me?”

She nodded, her swagger starting to wain - perhaps she was off the mark and he wanted to wait - which was of course more than understandable and as she opened her mouth to back-track he breathed out in near awe.

“Absolutely”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma decides to DO something about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here Comes The Smut

She beamed for what felt like the hundredth time that evening and stood up, stretching as she went. 

She knew what they were about to do was a game changer - there was no going back from here, only forward. She knew their first time together would be a little awkward and maybe not what either of them expected, but she also had no doubt it would be full of love.

She put out her hand to his and Fitz cupped her hand as he stood up, pulling her into him, his nose pressing to hers.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. So much.”

They kissed for a moment and she led him quietly back to her room - each of them turning off the tv and the hallway lights as they passed them. As they came to the main bedroom at the end of the hall Jemma’s stomach tightened. They cross the threshold and as Fitz swung the door mostly closed behind him, her eyes acclimated to the pool of moonlight that was coming in from the the high window.

She took a breath as she turned back to him, trying to keep herself from dragging back in time. She felt the weight of the emotional rollercoaster she had experienced in her room earlier that evening and she busied herself through it.

She swiftly moved her things off of her bed and smoothed the covers, flipping them up and down three times before deciding that they could stay up for the time being.

She could feel Fitz hesitate behind her and the longer she stayed fussing with the bed the more she worried one of them might change their mind.

Were they ready for this? She knew she wanted it. She knew he did. They had both said as much to each other moments earlier. But there was a part of her that needed more confirmation.

As she moved to turn around, she felt Fitz close in on her and like a moment out of a movie, she rotated synchronously into his arms and they both smiled.

“Hey” he grinned

“Hi there”

Without further precedent, he pulled her toward him with one hand on her upper back and the other hand on her lower back, a gesture she was already becoming rather fond of, and brought her to his mouth.

His gesture was swift and firm but his kiss was soft and plush as he moved his mouth with hers, opening their kiss and reigniting her with his tongue. She couldn't remember ever feeling this way kissing someone. There was no comparison. Every single one of her typical biological responses to sexual stimulation was heighten.

She licked back at him, clashing her tongue in to his mouth with gusto and FItz moaned, pulling her. He was absolutely electrified by kissing her. A tiny voice in the back of his head wondered what in hell it was going to feel like being inside of her if it was this good with just their mouths.

The thought called him back to her earlier comment about his mouth and he groaned again, his hands moving smoothly under her shirt. They came up her soft skin and Jemma sighed, slowing her kisses as she relished in his warm hands on her back. Her hands came up to his collar and pulled him closer, his head tilting further down and she moved up on her toes to reach her neck towards him. He grabbed at her bare skin more hungrily and somewhere in the back of his head realized that had nothing else on under her shirt. 

His eyes opened and he froze slightly, looking down at her loose, light grey v-neck and he was awash in mesmerized adoration.

Jemma’s eyes fluttered open in mild confusion and as she took in his gaze she was stunned.

Tears prickled again and her complete reverence for him matched his for her.

Before he could overthink the moment he pulled her back up in to another kiss and his hands moved around her front, over her ribs, achingly across her breasts. He grabbed at them enthusiastically and she reached her arms up bringing her shirt with them swiftly. 

In an instant all she could think of was the two of them being naked. She needed both of their clothes off immediately.

She had to break their kiss again to remove her shirt and her heart pounded as adrenaline took over and she immediately reached for Fitz’s buttons.

He puffed out an astounded breath at the sight of her and she barked quietly at him, almost out of breath, 

“Take off your trousers,”

Rather than taking heed of her direction, he pulled her towards him again, dropping his head to her throat, her clavicle, and the top of her breasts. She laughed as he swung around, dropping to a seat on the bed, pulling her in between his legs and mouthing at her sternum.

She thought fleetingly about reprimanding him but instead smiled as she looked down at him, his lips traveling to her breasts and across her nipples. She closed her eyes, her hand cupped gently behind the back of his hand and thought again of how desperately she wanted him naked. On top of her, his mouth all over every part of her.

Fitz moaned softly as he licked and sucked at her breasts and while she was not typically one to get particularly aroused by such an activity, the closeness of him and warmth of his ministrations heated her body. It moved through all of her limbs, her stomach, her chest, and down to her groin. 

She thought quickly of a way she might entice him to start taking off some of his clothes and pulling away only slightly, in a fit of confidence egged on by increasing rates of dopamine, she quickly yanked down and stepped out of her shorts and underwear.

She had rid herself of the rest of her clothes before he completely realized what she was doing and as he went to move his mouth further down her abdomen he did a double take. He looked fleetingly at the discarded clothes on the floor, back up to her chest in front of him, then at the floor, and finally to the rest of her naked body standing inches away from his face.

His intake of breath was pained and Jemma reached down her hand to his chin, lifting it up.

“Fitz, I want you. Take off your pants...please...” she finished.

He stood up quickly, his ape brain taking full control and fumbled at his belt as she moved towards the buttons on his shirt again. As his oxford came open, she could not resist herself, only having pushed it mostly off his shoulders before she reached her mouth to his collarbone and up his Adam’s apple. 

They stumbled as she tried to kiss him and he attempted to pull of his chinos, his shirt hanging off his arms. She giggled and apologized.

“I’m sorry, I can't even let you get undressed before pawing at you,”

He was still a bit stunned and looked up at her again as he pulled his hands through is shirt sleeves, left only in his boxer briefs.  
Her grin was a breath of air and she looked at him like he hung the moon.

Fitz was skinny. Always had been. His chest was flat and his limbs and torso were long and his arms were sinewy and firm. He was pale and his jaw was sharp and his hair was mussed and his eyes were beautiful and Jemma loved him.

She was stunning. Pale skin and dark shoulder length hair, her chest and arms dotted with freckles and moles that he’d never really gotten a sight of before. Her breasts were perfect bells and her stomach was soft and her hips shaped in to lovely legs and in the moonlit dark of her room his eyes passed over the shadow between her thighs with wonder.

She felt a dash self-conscious as his eyes flitted over her but more than that she was still tingling to touch him. She stepped back in to his space and put her hands toward the top of his chest.

“I want to touch you, is that...do you want me to touch you?” she thought she knew the answer but it came naturally to her to check his consent.

He nodded, still a bit dumbfounded, and as her hands roamed, he regained some of his wherewithal. He kissed her again, pulling her in once again, his hands on her lower back, and she moved her palms across his chest and shoulders, petting him with affection.

He moved his hands tentatively down her backside and she tingled as his fingers brushed the curve under her bum.

“Yes, Fitz” she breathed against his mouth.

He grabbed her more firmly, and fell on to the the bed once again, back in to a seated position.

Fitz liked this angle very much. His face was parallel with her torso and the heat of her middle was close to his chest. His arms were long enough to reach all the way around her, kneading her bum as he dipped his mouth down to kiss her stomach.

She sighed again and spread her fingers across his shoulder smoothing them back and forth across his skin.

“I love you,” she whispered.

He almost wanted to stop again - to look up and stare into her eyes - but in a moment of overwhelming gratitude he knew there would be more time for that later. Right now his body demanded to be closer to hers. To show her his love for her.

“I love you Jemma,” he told her between kisses, “I love you and I want... I want to go down on you,”  
The words stumbled out of him and he kept kissing her as he awaited a response, hoping for the best as he moved his hands slowly to her hips, pulling her closer to his face.

Her eyes popped open and she looked down at him as she felt herself heat at his words.

She swallowed the saliva pooling in her mouth and her chest filled with affection & lust as she nodded. Her lips were dry as she realized he couldn't see her, and her hands moved to his hair as she pulled him dangerously close to where the heat was pooling and breathed,

“Yes,”

His head tilted down and he kissed her mound, moving his mouth to the sensitive crease between her mons pubis and the top of her thigh. She closed her eyes and moved her hands through the top of his hair, bringing it affectionately back and forth down toward his neck. Her other hand clenched his shoulder in anticipation and his warm, open kisses moved across her pelvis. 

Just as she was hoping he would start to dive deeper, he began to move his mouth back up her stomach and placed a gentle kiss above her belly button before looking up.

“I’m sorry, the - the angle isn’t quite - can you...do you want to join me on the bed?”

The split second of concern turned to hunger and she leaned down to kiss him brusquely before tumbling over him on to the bed, attempting to pull him on top of her.

It didn’t quite work as planned, instead, Jemma kind of flopped on to one side of the bed while Fitz fell back and he chuckled lightly as he rolled over. Before she could be the one to apologize this time his hands were on her sides as he moved down towards the foot of the bed, angling on to his knees in front of her. Her eyes followed him and she reached behind her for a pillow.

She’d given and received oral sex before and she knew what she liked. She also knew without hesitation that she was going to like it even more with Fitz. She folded the pillow up and bunched it tight under her neck and shoulders, looking down at him as he leaned forward on his stomach and gently parted her legs.

She thought about asking him if he was sure about this - a small nervous jumble formed in her stomach and her mouth cracked into a nearly embarrassed but very excited smile.

Fitz should have been shaking. Should have been nervous and unsure and wallowing in his typical feelings of inadequacy. But he was too busy wanting this with every organism in his body. He had been with other women and he had a keen idea of the pleasure most of the derived from oral sex, but, in this moment, he was overwhelmed with the pleasure he knew he would get from doing it with Jemma.

He started at the inside of her thigh this time, licking at it and kissing up the almost unbearably soft skin as she moaned above him. He wanted desperately to watch her as he went but first he had to get his bearings. The blinds were open behind him - the window high enough and facing out mostly toward another building - and the mild light from outside gave him just enough to see what he was doing. He considered going slowly, and again, experienced the joy of the fact that he would, ideally, have many more opportunities to do this with her in a number of different ways.

So this time he gave in to his desire, his simple need for her, to feel close to her, to love her with his mouth. One palm held firmly against her thigh as he used his other hand to part her and he brought his mouth directly to her clitoris.

Jemma’s moan came at a high pitch and her other leg came up in reaction. She gripped at her own thigh and immediately cried out as he began flicking his tongue pointedly. A part of her had assumed he’d go slow, take his time, but, jesus this was better. She was keyed up and aching for him. A combination of her newly recognized desire and bit of overall pent up sexual need. Her other hand came down over his back shoulder and rubbed against whatever part of him she could reach. Both her legs bowed open, and his hand that had been placed on her thigh went up her stomach as he changed pace, moving to suck her. She brought her other hand now down to the back of his head and looked down at him, her eyes opening briefly as another moan careened out of her.

Fitz licked at her again and came up for air, moving his fingers down, sliding them low. He lapped at her clit in short, bold strokes and she gasped. The noise caught his attention and he looked up as she was looking down at him and their gaze connect as he kissed the top of her hip and played the tips of his fingers against her. 

She wanted desperately for him to continue but she couldn't stand any longer him being so far away from her.

“Come here,” she ached out, pulling at his back muscles.

He looked at her in slight confusion and she shook the fog from her head

“You’ll have to get back to that later, please come up here with me, I need to love you”

She wriggled her legs, and pulled at him and Fitz smiled and moved swiftly.

She remained on her back and he positioned himself on his side, taking advantage of her position in hopes of continuing some of his activity. His right arm remained low on her body as she pulled his face in to hers for more kisses.

His tongue went to work inside her mouth and the erogenous zones on her own tongue sent a zip through her nerves. His hand moved back to where it had been moments before and as he kissed her heavily, his fingers took up the place where his mouth had been. 

She moaned into his mouth and pulled at his hip, pressing him against her hip - as Fitz’s erection made contact against her leg he groaned and slipped his fingers in to her. 

She gasped out another moan and he moved his mouth to her neck.

“I love you,” he murmured against her pulse.

She mouthed the sentiment back to him almost silently as his fingers hooked back in search of her g-spot and when they touched it she almost wanted him to stop, almost wanted him to swiftly replace his hand with himself. She still wanted more of him.

“Yes, yes, yes, please don’t stop,” she said instead, leaning her neck back, the crown of her head touching the bed.

Fitz leaned farther into her, hardened against her thigh, and fluttered his fingers firmly inside of her. She clenched around them and his kiss moved from her neck down to her nipples again and this time that sensation set her ablaze.

She almost wanted reach down and put her own fingers to work on her clit - she needed relief from the pressure building as all the blood pooled in her, but instead it dawned on her what she wanted, and she hoped it wasn't too selfish to ask.

“Fitz, this, this feels amazing but I need you to slow down for a second,”

His heart began to beat rapidly as his fingers stilled and he slowed his kissing between her breasts. He was weary to yank away too quickly what he was doing out of concern for her physical sensitivity. He moved his hand slowly out of her as he turned his head and looked at her, trying not to jump to any conclusions.

When she met his eyes she smiled again, her heart thumping and she leaned down at an awkward angle to kiss him. When she pulled back up she tried to keep her statement measured in hopes that she got across correctly what she wanted to say.

“I am hoping, if you’d like to, that we can, that you and I can have intercourse - and I’d really like you to be on top, and when things get going, if it feels good for you, I’d love for you to finger my clit because right now I’m really close to both an external and an internal orgasm and I think - if you’d enjoy it, if we time it right, both will happen at the same time, and I’d really like to experience that with you, if you want that - I want you to make me come like that and I would really like you to come while we have intercourse together - if you do.”

Fitz froze in an overwhelming wave of anticipation. He couldn’t believe what she was asking him. She wanted him to give her a double orgasm. She wanted him to come inside her. The things he’d been doing had her on the edge of two orgasms.

Jemma couldn't believe what she had just said. She had never been so explicit in her asks with other lovers. She was usually very open about what felt good and pointed in guiding hands where she wanted them, but never this bold.

“Is it...is it okay that I just asked...if you want to do something different we can talk about it and - “

“Are you kidding me? Jemma of course I want to do that. All of that - and probably anything else you cook up...you’re...Jemma you’re everything to me - I’m yours.”

She pulled his face up to kiss him again as she smiled and she pulled him over top of her, finally feeling his weight on her as she’d imagined earlier.

Fitz moved slightly awkwardly as she helped him pull off his underwear and she sighed contently as he come in contact with her, their heat pulsing between them.

He leaned down to kiss her and she moved her hands around to his butt, pressing him against her as she hooked her legs around the back of his thighs.

She thought for a moment about reminding him that she was on birth control but she knew he knew - as well as she knew they both had regular check ups.

As in sync as always, Fitz voiced some of her thoughts, 

“Um, I, unless I’m mistaken we’re both clean and safe and you, um, we’re covered with protection and everything?”

“Mmmhmmm,” she murmured through a smile, kissing his neck and running her tongue up his throat.

Fitz groaned and looked down at them, he pushed himself against her, once, twice, almost testing the sensation, until finally he reached down parting her folds further, and holding himself as he moved in to her.

They both made satisfied noises as they connected and Jemma held Fitz like he might float away as he pushed in to her and he kissed every inch of her that he could reach as they twined themselves together. 

He pushed himself up on both arms as he began pulling out and pushing in. The simple missionary position they were in was just right for their first time. Jemma could hold him, feel his weight on her, and see all of the lovely creases of his face. Fitz looked down, focused on the motions between them and determined to get in to a rhythm that would allow him to do the other things she had asked for. 

Jemma clenched against him and he grunted, leaning back slightly on his knees giving himself more leverage. He placed his hands on her hips and was able to look down, further across the rest of her body and face as we went in and out. Her knees came up, her feet bracing on the bed and she reached up to his chest, her lips pressed together in the ache of her pleasure.

Fitz himself had started to feel the growing pressure of his pending release. Not that he’d mentioned it to Jemma but he’d relieved himself earlier in the shower that evening as he typically did, especially before a date, and he was certainly glad of it as they continued, his ability to enjoy their activities with a little bit of restraint. He was eager to pleasure her and bring them both to climax, so he kicked up his thrusts trying to mimic some of the earlier pace of his fingers.

She moaned in a long sigh and reached for one of his arms, sliding her hand down his forearm and to his hand, bringing it up to her breast and running it down her sternum, and toward her mound.

“Yes, Fitz, yes, you feel so good.”

He laid his hand on her warmth but also braced himself with his other arm, leaning down to kiss her, her collarbone, her chest, her neck, under her chin.

“Jemma, you’re amazing” he panted, probably trying to do too many things at once

He kissed her hard on the lips and she tried to follow after him as he retreated back up to his position, taking hold of one of her legs and bringing it further up his hip, widening her stance as he felt a pulse of heat through his legs and his groin. 

He knew he was getting closer and hoped she was too,

“Jemma, do you want me to-”

“YES” she rasped, her head lolling back on to the pillow

He held her leg for leverage, and kept a steady pace but reduced some of his velocity as he brought his other fingers down to open her and begin thumbing fervently at her clitoris.

She gasped and a high moan followed and Fitz’s concentration increased as his own orgasm etched closer. He almost wanted to slow down but it was all too good. He was going to come and she was going to come and they were in love and this was the first of many times they were going to feel this together.

He circled her with his thumb as he groaned, and his thrusts hardened and slowed.

That was the beginning of the end for both of them. 

Jemma clenched around him and moaned again, pulling at his ass once more.

“Oh don’t stop, do that again and keep going”

Somewhere in his fog he was pretty sure he knew what she meant and he was also emboldened to ask for what he wanted.

“Grab me again and keep tensing like that”

Both her legs moved up around his hips now and she exercized herself against him in pace with his thrusts while she pushed him further in to her. A second wind whipped through him and he was determined to have her orgasm with him. He brought his fingers up to his mouth to wet them and then set back to task, thrumming the pads of his fingers against her ferociously in triple time to their thrusts.

The range of her moan went higher and he knew he couldn't keep that pace for long but then Jemma let out a set of three quick, loud moans and shot forward, tensing harder this time. Fitz cried out, he fell to his hands as he pushed in to her four more times as he came and throttled against just the right spot inside of her as she let out a second release.

He pulled back just enough to slide out of her and distribute some of his weight on the bed as he dropped down, leaning on his elbows to her side, his legs still in between hers and their stomachs pressed together. 

They both panted and Jemma reached for him haphazardly, caressing whatever part of his skin she could find.

“My god” she uttered

Fitz smiled against the air, his head leaning down in rest not far from her pillow and he slumped somewhat gracelessly on his side. She scooted over away from the middle of the bed towards the side that jutted against the wall and pulled him gently towards her. 

She opened her eyes slowly as he made himself more comfortable, falling on to his back and bringing his right arm over his stomach to rest partially on hers, and the corners of her mouth lifted at the sight of him.

He was taut and lanky and sexy and his hipbones protruded and his thighs were firm and his forearms and hands and fingers were strong. He was perfect. 

He was hers.

She brought her left hand over to interlace her fingers with his on top of her stomach and couldn't help but look down at their naked bodies. She held back a bigger smile at the sheer joy and the mild awe of the situation.

“Jemma”

His voice broke her gaze and she turned her head to the side, where his was facing her, his eyes partially open, sleepy with sex.

Her toothless grin continued and she smiled at him, lips plump with hormones.

He rubbed his thumb against her hand and scooted closer to her, his body heavy with exertion, managing to put his head on her pillow and kiss her softly. She suddenly ached to hold him again and unlinked their fingers, bringing her hand up to his face to lengthen their kiss. As their mouths parted she turned to her side and pulled herself in to his chest, his arm lifting up to accommodate her and she embraced him as his arm came down fitting around her. She brought her face close to his and his eyes opened further, meeting hers.

She couldn't help but smile again and it was contagious. Fitz beamed in way that she just now realized he only reserved for her and she kissed him again.

“You’re my best friend in the world and I love you and that was absolutely amazing,” she gushed quietly.

He pulled her in for a longer kiss in response and their tongues moved gently against each other as they lingered in their post-coital bliss.

As they parted his hands roamed her back languidly and Jemma lay her head back down on the pillow, bringing her hand up to his face, running her fingers against his brow and savoring his cheekbones.

“Fitz, I almost can’t believe this,”

“I’m still pretty sure I’m dreaming,” he smiled, sleepily.

“Not how you pictured the night ending?” she teased.

He closed his eyes, leaning in to her touch and shook his head with a small laugh.

“How about you?” he asked, opening them back up

“Not quite,” she smirked, “although I had been hoping for a snog if things went my way”

“What?”

Jemma smiled her mischievous grin and Fitz’s heart fluttered

“Well I was sat here listening to you and Karen and got quite...worked up, and, I was...” 

She considered stopping herself from the embarrassing story and then remembered that they were lying there naked on her bed together.

She ran her foot up his leg and laid her knee over his, tangling them together as her hand rested on his shoulder again. She loved his shoulders.

“I was going to get a glass of water to see if she was still here - and if she was I was going to go back to my room and I was going to...” she sighed, wondering again why she was admitting this, “I was going to write everything down for you,” she laughed.

Fitz’s eyebrows peaked. She could barely see his expression but it prompted her to continue.

“I wanted to be prepared when I told you - told you how I felt.” 

She ran her hand down to his arm and squeezed it. He reciprocated by rubbing her back and Fitz thought to himself briefly how natural it all felt - like an extension of them, of the partnership they had already built together. 

He was still a little bit nervous. Wanting to please her and be good enough for her. But their mirroring words echoed in his head - he was everything to her the same way she was to him. Still he was curious.

“What would you have written down?”

She stilled. She knew he would ask that. She would have too. She hadn’t planned on telling him this but she was having an almost out of body experience. Their closeness was too good to ignore and she wanted to continue it.

“Something a bit like what I said on the couch,” she continued, bringing her hand to rest on his chest.

“That I love you and I want to be with you, in every way and that you mean the world to me and you make me laugh and you are my partner and my best friend and that I can't imagine my life without you.”

His heart soared again and he didn't know what else he could say to her to convey how much he felt the same, so he pulled her in for a kiss again. He ran his hand up and down her back and lingered in the feel of her, opening and closing his mouth gently against hers for a few moments and then pulled back, pressing their foreheads together.

He opened his mouth to find a way to convey it and she interrupted.

“I need you to know too Fitz that i would have...I would have said ... I would have said too that I want to be with you in whatever way you want to be with me.” 

Her tone became slightly desperate, “and that if that meant friendship and partnership and everything we already had and nothing more than platonic I would have told you that was enough because all that mattered was that we’d be side by side...and, and, I’m so, so happy that you feel the same way but if you hadn’t, if you had said that you wanted to be friends, just remain friends or if, I don’t know, if anything ever changes and you decide that-”

“No. Never.” he stopped her.

“I just mean that... we’re young and we don’t know what will happen and - just know that I’m with you no matter what. I love you and this is amazing. This is more than I ever knew I wanted, but, no matter what I want to be with you. Even if-”

“Jemma,” he said more forcefully, leaning up on his elbow, “that's...that's not an option for me. This is it. You’re it. I know we’re young too and I don’t know if we’ll go all the places we want to go and do all the things we want to do but I do know that - this - us, together, like this...there’s not a day that will go by where I don’t want this. Jemma I love you so much. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and you...if you’ll let me, I - Jemma I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Together, you and me.”

Her mouth quivered as tears began and she leaned up to throw her arms around him and pulled him back down with her. 

“Fitz” she cried.

He held her close and tried to absorb the ache for both of them. He understood what she meant and up until this evening he had felt the same. He had believed he would be content to life his life with her has his partner and best friend. But there was no turning back for him now. This was too good, to be together like this was too much bliss to ever try and live without it.

“I’m sorry Jemma, I didn’t mean to make you cry”

“It's okay, they’re happy tears” she sniffled, kissing him on the cheek.

He pulled back, his hands on her face and looked her over, kissing her, and thumbing away her tears.

They paused for a few moments, taking each other in and then he spoke.

“Okay. This is it then. You and me.”

“You and me.”


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 13 Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffiest Fluff

\- 13 Years Later - 

Jemma Simmons Fitz was overjoyed

It was a warm sunny summer’s evening in Perthshire and everything she loved most in the world was within a few feet of her.

Her shoulder was warm against her husbands as she ran a freshly washed plate through her toweled hand and the breeze through the window brought forth a hint of lavender & lilac from the garden.

They had a dishwasher and used it often but some nights they enjoyed the ritual of after dinner dishes. Fitz worked silently scrubbing the plates at the farm style sink and she eyed the sun setting as two giggling girls careened across the yard. 

Margaret & Rosaline - or Maggie & Rose as they were called - bounced through the patch of grass without a care. She watched Maggie stop and pick a daisy from the yard, turning around to show it to Jemma.

“Bellis perennis” Maggie said to Rose, teaching her the latin name for the bud.

Jemma smiled, stacking the plate and turning to Fitz who had stopped what he was doing and was turned to his left. Jemma leaned forward and caught a glimpse of their youngest in his highchair, smiling at what she realized were the faces Fitz was pulling.

“What’s that your dad is up to James?” she cooed.

Fitz turned to her with a grin and she scrunched her nose at him before he kissed her swiftly.

They went back to their task and as they finished up, Jemma wiped her hands and made towards the back door to call the girls in for bath time.

“So what time should we plan to leave tomorrow?” Fitz asked, moving towards the baby and beginning to open up his high chair.

“Well your mum should be here before 1 if traffic is good, so I thought we’d visit with her for tea and leave before 3 so we can check in to the hotel before dinner?”

“Sounds good, I’m lookin’ forward to it” he grinned, lifting up James and looking down at him before smiling back to his wife, “it’ll be nice to have some time, just you and me.”

Jemma smiled, paused at the door, and looked at him with an affection that grew more every day.

“You and me.”


End file.
